Well, Jackman turned 8 weeks old Wednesday. I doubt we'll have any new news to report for a few more weeks. We are in much better spirits than the last time I posted on the blog. I didn't really want to fool with it for a few days after that.
But Jackman is doing good now. He didn't feel very good for several days after the endoscopy. It irritates his little throat, and I think it causes him to produce more mucus, which his suction tube doesn't get out very well. Basically, he spends the next few days after the endoscopy choking on phlegm, and that wouldn't put anyone in a good mood.
Now he's starting to get happy and playful again. I would almost swear that he is trying to talk, and all the nurses say so too. When you talk to him, he moves his mouth and his tongue, and makes little sounds. I think it drives him crazy that he can't talk yet. And he could beat anyone in a staring contest; he refuses to break eye contact.... very confident.
Anyway, we didn't get to see him tonight because the NICU was closed again. They were waiting on a family to get there, so that didn't sound good. I hope it's nothing too bad, but we'll be checking all our little neighbors beds when we get up there tomorrow. They told us Jackman was okay, so we are thankful.
On the way out of the hospital, me and Lisa were a little surprised that we didn't feel like we had to stay longer (even though we were told we wouldn't get to visit). We just decided that we had done all we could, and might as well come on home and rest a little. If this had happened a month ago we would have been so sad and disappointed. Don't get me wrong, we really wanted to see Jackman tonight. It just wasn't devastating this time; we were stronger.
That got me thinking. I prayed several times that God would make us strong parents (and especially me). I believe we all tend to think that when we pray for something like strength, patience, wisdom, etc., that God will just zap us with it, and we'll have it forever. I don't discount that God will give us a boost every now and then, but I don't think he just automatically loads us up with those disciplines. I think he cultivates them in us.
For example: I prayed fro strength, several times, but I never got zapped with it. But I have noticed (to God's credit) that me and Lisa have gotten increasingly stronger over the past several weeks. God has been cultivating strength in us.
It makes me wonder how many things I have prayed for in the past, and then complained when God started the cultivating process. Like wisdom for example. I know I have prayed for wisdom in the past. I would have to admit that what I expected was to wake up the next morning with all the answers, so to speak. But in reality, God orchestrated a series of events that was intended to cultivate that wisdom in me. Looking back, and can actually see how that happened in several cases.
Plain and simple, Jesus said if you ask for something in His name, you will have it. I don't think those are magic words. It means if you ask for something in line with His will. That means if I ask for something (like wisdom) that lines up with who Jesus is and who He wants me to be, He's going to make sure I get it (assuming the motives are pure of course). The thing is that the receiving it process is as valuable the having it.
So now I'm really on the lookout. I know that in everything God is growing me by either teaching me or simply building character in me. It kind of reminds me of the Karate Kid. Daniel-son didn't know it at first, but everything was a lesson. Later Mr. Miyagi showed him how every little monotonous thing really meant something, and it was a lesson for him to use later on. He didn't just tell Daniel-son what to do when he was in the big fight; he began preparing him before he even realized that's what was going on. Then, when it mattered most, those moves flowed out of him naturally.
Anyway, I'm trying not to be in a hurry. I want to enjoy the ride, even if it is a little off the beaten path. I believe God is going to show us a sight we wouldn't see otherwise.