Tuesday, June 19, 2012

All Was Quiet…

Harmless... Right?

Those of you who have kids know (and those of you that may should know) that when there is silence mixed with two little boys, more than likely, a good ole-fashioned diaper-dusting is soon to follow. It is like the calm before the storm. Like the eye of the hurricane. That is the preface to this little episode.

The boys were having a grand ole time as usual this morning, playing in the cardboard bathtub box my pop drug in the house and left last week for them – all the while ignoring their toys like they were works of art in a museum. Well, they can only run through the box so many times. There are, in fact, a limited number of scenarios that two diaper-clad boys can imagine while chasing each other through a tub box. So, I figured I would be a hero. I gave Jackman a big, black plastic spatula, and Brolin a matching big black plastic spoon.

And I commanded the boys, saying, “Of the cardboard box you mayest freely beat:
But of the furniture of the rest of the house, thou shalt not beat it: for in the moment that thou beatest thereof thou shalt surely get a spanking.”

Jackman got it. He grinned his signature grin, and led the charge. Brolin immediately picked up on it, and they commenced to beating that box like a redheaded stepchild. I peacefully returned to my now soggy Cheerios and the Hunting, Fishing, & Guns section of the Mule Trader, confident that this latest enterprise would satiate their appetite for destruction for at least an hour or so. But just as I finished my mush, all was quiet…

In an instant, my heart sank. I knew they were up to something. Where was all the beating? Where was that noise that told me their exact location and what they were up to when my eyes weren’t fixed directly on them? Was Jackman snapping the window blinds in half? Was Brolin climbing the bookshelf? Had they already discovered the boyhood joys of fire? Do I dare even walk in the direction of absolute silence?

The moment of truth… the point of no return. As I rounded the corner I saw them, with the very tools of destruction that I had given them, excavating a half-dead plant in the hallway, and merrily heaping the soil into a large mound on the hardwood (anyone remember those field trips to Moundville?). For just a split-second I was conflicted. I didn’t know whether to be angry, or proud. I didn’t know whether to chase them off, or take a picture. Then it occurred to me: “They ain’t gonna shovel this mess up!”

I gave chase…

…and then I cleaned up the mess.

They were already into something else before I was finished, and never missed a lick. They ain't got time to slow down. Anyway, although it was somewhat aggravating, this wasn't quite one of those “spank-able” offenses in their far-reaching spectrum of their punishable little-boy-crimes. So I just took’ em upstairs to our bedroom and spent a few minutes teaching them how to perform various forms of the powerbomb on the bed. They got to be the Hardy Boyz.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Happy Birthday, Brolin.

(nobody panic... those diapers back there are new ones...)

As I figured, Brolin has not been featured nearly as much in the ole blog as Jackman was. But since tomorrow is his birthday, it's about time he gets another day in the sun.

Feast your eyes on the one-year-old Brolin, or as he has been affectionately nicknamed by Jackman, Bro-bro. He's getting big and shaggy. He's been walking for months now. He's even saying a few words. The really crazy thing for us is the way he eats. Even though he is a year old now, we can't get used to the way he puts away food when we have worked so hard with Jackman to teach him just to taste things. 

He's a completely different person than Jackman. Somehow, I guess I was under the impression Brolin would end up being like having another little Jackman around. Man, was I ever wrong. I can say this much... Brolin's name suits him. There ain't nothing mild-mannered about him. (I know what you're thinking - He's so cute and looks so sweet). This boy has got everyone fooled except his old man. He is as bossy as they come, and can be as mean as a snake. He will tear through a wall to get what he wants. If you try to put him down for a nap too early or too late, he will scream bloody murder. 

But he also has a soft side that surprised us. He loves teddy bears. The first thing he does before every nap, after every nap, and every night before he goes to sleep, is squeeze that little teddy bear in his bed. (That's him in the left-side background - his name is Hammer). He also likes to share with his brother... yeah, and I'm a Chinese jet pilot.

I can't believe a year has gone by already. I can barely remember what it was like for him to be an infant... he already seems so tough. One thing that he has in store is a haircut. Unlike Jackman, who got his first haircut not long after he got out of the hospital because it was down his back, Brolin has not had one yet. He's going for that seventies look, and rockin' it pretty good. When he wakes up from his nap in a bad mood, he looks just like Lou Ferrigno as the old Incredible Hulk with that frizzy, shaggy hair. When Brolin gets that haircut, he's really going to look grown up.

Don't grow up too fast.

Jackman certainly loves having Brolin around, and we do too. Happy birthday, Bro-bro. We love you buddy.