Quick Winter Slideshow

Quick Winter Slideshow a video by gharper356 on Flickr.

Morning Time...

Jackman and me big chair 3, a photo by gharper356 on Flickr.

Most every morning while the boys are asleep, and sometimes before Lisa wakes up, I get up and go downstairs to the living room. I go down there to sit in the big chair and read my Bible and pray. When I’m done, I wait.

I know Jackman will be coming soon. Sometimes he even comes before I can get finished. 

He’s over three years old now, and he’s been in his own little bed for a while. At first when he woke up, he liked to lie around in the bed like a teenager. I would have to go and drag him out. Now he’s got something that he seems to like better than that, which makes me happy. He likes to get up early and come sit with me.

He’s usually awake by around 6:00, sometimes earlier. As soon as he gets up, I hear him jump out of bed. The house is still dark then, and I can hear him walking slowly and carefully down the stairs. Then he peeks around the corner to see if I’m in the big chair. When he sees me, I just motion for him to come on and sit down. He hurries on down the last few stairs – always with Stitch and his Toy Story blanket in-hand. Then he crawls up beside me and under my left arm, and we just sit there together looking into the dark. Sometimes we sit there without making a sound for nearly and hour. It’s one of my favorite times of the day.

I wish I were like him. It occurred to me that I should be exactly like him, be as punctual, as enthusiastic, as eager to wake up every morning and go sit with my Heavenly Father downstairs in the big chair. I must admit that at times I do it out of habit or obligation. But for Jackman it never is – he just wants to come sit with me. I want to be like that so badly. We should all want that. 

Jesus said, “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” I think I’ve found my role model.

Must Read!!!

Jackman's Doc, Dr. Erik Hansen and his family

Some of you know this already, but one of Jackman’s surgeons is no longer at Children’s Hospital. He is now on staff at a somewhat smaller hospital… Kijabe Hospital in Kenya, East Africa. Dr. Hansen and his family moved there not long after Jackman was released from Children’s Hospital in 2010.

I’ve heard some people comment that he was crazy, because he’s a young guy. But Lisa and I are so proud to have had a man of God care after our son for six months, and then see him move on to take care of babies and children that simply do not have the luxury of the same treatment Jackman did. Babies are born all over the world with the same thing Jackman was born with (EA/TEF), but they die because it cannot be corrected soon enough.

Please… read this post on the Hansen’s blog:

Milestone.

Dr. Hansen briefly recounts the first successful surgery – like Jackman’s – at Kijabe Hospital.

Take a moment to consider the sacrifice and adjustments the Hansens have had make. Leave them an encouraging comment to remind them that they are highly esteemed. 

Also, consider supporting this family. They are radically obeying the Great Commission.

You can send a tax-deductible contribution to:

World Medical Mission

P.O. Box 3000

Boone, NC 28607

Account # 003900 on memo line

Or you can give online –just type in Hansen and select Hansen, Erik. You can set up a recurring or one time gift.

Baby "Moses" - EA/TEF patient like Jackman

Picture Update on the Boys...

Here's a little picture update. The boys are doing well, as you can see. Jackman is eating more, and we've cut back on his tube feeds just a little to make room for some hunger per his nutritionist's instructions. Now he wants to eat. He's not eating anything solid yet, but he's eating some, nonetheless. He's also making leaps and bounds in his speech. Speech is tied very closely with the mechanics used when eating, so he has been behind other kids his age. But his speech therapist says he is a few years ahead of others in the sounds he says, and his counting, etc. It's just the pronunciation that he has to work on. He hasn't been refluxing (or throwing up) at all. He's about 50th percentile in weight and height - awesome for a tube-fed kid. He doing great right now. Brolin is doing really well. Talking up a storm, eating everything except strawberries. He's in the 75th-100 percentile in height, and 50th in weight, and still growing like a weed. He likes reading books, then tearing then to shreds. The boys are great together. Check out the pics. Hope you like them.

Jackman is kind of a depressed kid. Sometimes he can barely get out of bed and go to work. All he does is complain and whine about the economy... No wait... he's pretty much like this all the time.

Lately, because of this towel that that was given to Jackman by a good friend of ours, Brolin pretends to be a dog all the time. And Jackman loves it, because he has a pet. It's kind of like a two-for-one deal, so if you have a second kid, forget the pet, just get yourself a dog towel.

Rare photo opp indeed! This was taken without the use of duct tape or Benadryl. I merely hypnotized them with a new cartoon, and jammed them into the chair with the footstool. 

Okay Einstein, I need my specs back... Jackman was taking my goggles for a test drive. Lisa liked this one so much, it earned a spot on the lock screen of her phone.

Maybe Brolin will be an archaeologist. That sure sounds more promising than being a dumpster-diver. This is one of his favorite pastimes.
Step 1: Climb in the toy box.
Step 2: Dig the to the bottom of the box.
Step 3: Beg for help out of the box.

Grandma Brenda had a good idea - Jackman's first Happy Meal. He may not have swallowed much of it, but he sure enough chewed it up, and drank a lot of that shake. He's come a long way since we brought him home.

A Walmart diaper just can't contain all that manliness. Well, if he doesn't become an archaeologist, maybe he can fix your sink! Brolin exudes potential from every direction.

Priceless! Taken on the road at Lisa's grandmother's house, in South Alabama. Long day of traveling, playing, rambling, and finally, crashing. 

Guess which one Daddy dressed? Both of them! Jackman specifically asked for the dinosaur pants, and he's been working hard on his speech, so he got what he asked for. Now, dressing Brolin before bedtime is like trying to skin a cat. You want to make sure that you have on long sleeves and eye protection before you start that battle.

It is amazing how fast those little plastic things can get coming down that driveway. It's a good thing we have a chain link fence to catch'em before they launch off into the woods. Jackman is pretty daring on his little red car at three years old, but Brolin (one year old) gives me multiple heart attacks trying to keep up with his big brother. There's nothing he won't try five times.

Be sure to check out my new blog. Please follow, bookmark, and add it to your favorites:

Public Servant's Announcement

Brand New Blog!

Hey Folks,

You may have noticed that this blog has always kind of focused heavily on Jackman, and Brolin managed to squeeze his way in there just a little bit before I got too busy to keep it up. I don’t guess I’ve ever explained, but since Jackman was born, I’ve been back in school. For three years now I’ve been working toward a B.S. in Religion – Biblical Studies at Liberty University, and now I only have a few weeks left before I graduate. That is one big reason I wasn’t able to keep up the blog after Brolin came along. It was a tough choice – pick two out of three: blog, family, homework. Well, the blog lost out for a while.

Anyway, there are still things I’d like to write about, and things I’ve learned that I would like to pass on. But the boys just aren’t quite ready for that stuff yet, and I really don’t have a platform for that at the moment either. Hence, the new blog: Public Servant’s Announcement. Needless to say The Harper Times has become “sacred,” so it will remain devoted to the family and what God is doing with us, through us, and for us. This story ain’t over.

The new blog, Public Servant’s Announcement, will tackle some things that would just seem out of place and awkward here. Please check it out, and please follow the blog. There’s also a gadget on the right sidebar so that enables you to follow by email. Keep in mind that I will be covered up with homework (both kinds) until December 14th, but I am almost finished with school. I’m looking forward to this. If you have any suggestions, let’s hear ‘em. 

Too Good To Be True???

There may finally be a real answer to the question "When is Jackman going to get to come home?".

First of all, I know it's been a while since we've updated. Me and Lisa have had a lot going on since the new year began. I hate to admit it, but both of us are pretty stressed. I guess the past six months had to exact some sort of toll on us. I don't know if that the case or not, but we've just had a tough few weeks. It feels like time is running off and leaving us, and everything we own is breaking along the way. You probably know the feeling, and if you don't, you must be in prison.

All that aside, Jackman has made steady gains ever since he woke up and came of the ventilator. He's been getting stronger. He's rolling side to side and playing with his feet... he is amazed by them, and obviously very proud that they belong to him. He's been grinning a lot. He smiles now when we come in. It's neat that he recognizes us when we come around the corner. Just a couple days ago he started baby-talking (except for when he clearly said the word "hey", which for some reason doesn't count as his first word). Since he woke up he's really been doing some catching up on that month he spent sedated.

Last week he had what we hope was his last surgery ever (aside for fixing his stomach back after the g-tube comes out). The surgery he had performed was a fundoplication. It was a success, and they were able to do it without making a large incision. He was happy and playing the next day. The surgery was mainly to keep him from throwing up so easily. After a couple of days, they got to try working with the bottle again.

Now there's something that's going to take some work. As they expected, he just ain't real fond of the sensation of milk in his mouth. It makes about as much sense to him to eat that way as it would for me or you to eat through our ears. It's going to take some time and patience to get that train on the right track again, but he's been doing a little better each time.

Well, things were going so great, they decided it was time for him to move out. He's completely weaned of the methadone, and he is completely off the liquids, so there's nothing holding him back. They went ahead and made plans for us to "room in" this Sunday. All the parents do that. The parent and the baby move into a private room together, get a little training, and basically just to make sure everybody is "cool". Really, me and Lisa would have a panic attack if we just walked out of NICU with him. People need that gentle nudge back into the real world.

So the plan is to room in Sunday, stay two or three days, and then finally bring the boy home. Sounds too good to be true, doesn't it?

There's a new wrinkle. Just today they went on "precautions" with Jackman. That means no one goes in his room without first putting on rubber gloves and a gown. I'll spare the details, but they are concerned he may be sick, or have some kind of bug. We should know tomorrow because they are running some tests. The thing is, if he does have anything that causes him to be put on antibiotics, we probably won't be rooming in as soon as we thought. That translates into not bringing him home as soon as we thought. He certainly knows how to keep things interesting.

That was a tough pill to swallow tonight, especially for Lisa. We are really hoping he's fine, and that everything is a go for this weekend. Now I won't lie; I'm a little scared and a little nervous, but I've felt that way before about other things and it all worked out. I'm pretty confident we can handle the boy... the house may fall down around us, but we won't neglect the boy. Feeding him will be the easiest thing; it's about like gassing up the car (put in hose - fill tank). Now Lisa... she wants him home too bad to even have thought about being nervous (plus she knows she's got a baby expert in the house with her).

Anyway, after 23 weeks, close to six months, there is finally an end in sight. The closer we get to that end, the more we realize it is just another beginning. That makes it exciting and sad at the same time. It's not that this part of our life with him is bad, we just want more of it with him. We're really hoping to have him home soon. Stay tuned...

New Jackman Pics...

If you are on Facebook, you are in luck. Our friends, Robert and Holly, came to the hospital last weekend to get some really good pictures of the boy. Robert posted a sampling of them on his Facebook, in the album THE Jackman aka Lil Harp. Click the link to check'em out. Robert took the pictures of Jackman at Halloween. He does a good job, and gets some really unbelievable shots. Check out his other albums of work he's done for other people. When you get ready for some family pictures, give him a call. I can put you in touch.

If you're not on Facebook, you can try the link and see if you get lucky, but you may have to wait till we post a few on the blog... (you are so jealous of Facebook people right now). I'll try to make it quick.

What's The Hold Up?...

Now, does this look like a baby that belongs in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit? Everyone is asking (and even the nurses are wondering) when the boy is coming home. Jackman looks good, he's happy, and healthy. So what's the hold up?

Well, there are reasons he is still there. He's closer than ever to coming home, but not quite ready.

One reason he is still there is that he may be having another surgery soon. It's called a fundoplication. Everyone there calls it a fundo, which sounds like most fun-est surgery you can get. In a nutshell, it helps close off the esophagus from the stomach to prevent reflux. As of right now, he still can't keep any milk in his stomach, so it is pumped through the tube in his stomach, straight into his intestine. He's completely off the intravenous diet now, which is good. He just gets a steady, healthy, flow of milk pumped in 'round the clock.

That's kind of the other thing. Bottle feeding. He's still not working on it quite yet because of the whole reflux problem (he throws up everything). He has had a bottle a couple of times now, but from what we've been told, he didn't even pretend to like it.... he hated it.

So here's the deal. Jackman is a baby, and babies are supposed to have milk and like it. Babies are also supposed to be at home with their parents, and free of monitors, leads, IV's, PICC lines, g-tubes, j-tubes, oximeters, replogles, and ID bracelets. So far, this is the only life Jackman has known, and by all appearances, he is just as happy and content as he can be. I mean seriously... just look at the pictures.

He has no idea that a much better quality of life is in store for him. He doesn't understand that the completely uncomfortable and foreign experience of taking milk from a bottle is the door to that better quality of life. Even though that bottle of milk to him seems unnecessary, it is the key to being free of all the tubes and hoses, and a whole new life he can't even imagine. So even though he thinks nothing of it now, and feels fine and dandy without it, drinking that milk will be the beginning of a brand new life for him... and he'll soon discover that he loves it. We just wish he would taste and see that milk is good.

It's almost funny to me the way a verse will sometimes just "coincidentally" pop into my head... kind of like this one: Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him! Psalm 34:8.

No doubt, God uses parallels in everyday life to demonstrate the reality of the spiritual life. I remember being just like Jackman is now... I didn't know any better. I knew what seemed to make me happy, and what seemed to give purpose and fulfillment to my life. I thought I was totally free of any restraints. I was certain that my never-ending search for fun was actually... fun.

It's scary to look back on it now and realize that what I was absolutely convinced was the good life was in reality just the opposite. It finally caught up with me. I literally got exhausted living that way. Trying to have fun felt more like working overtime, and the happiness of one day had to be replaced the next. In Matthew 11:28, Jesus says: "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." That's what I did. I remember telling Him "I don't want what you are offering me, but I really wish I did". That was the beginning of the new life that I could have never imagined before.

Jackman will eventually get tired of that pacifier. There is a reason it is called a pacifier and not a satisfier. At some point, he is going to realize he wants something more, and that the pacifier is more work than reward. One day, Jackman will taste and see that the milk is good, and soon after he will be completely free of all the tubes and cords and leads that are holding him back. Naturally, he's going to bump into a coffee table or two. But it will be at our house, or someone else's house, because they don't have coffee tables to bump into in the NICU. Likewise, I have run into some tough times along the way, but the truth is that there has been more joy in the worst of times now than there was in the best of times back then.

Like newborn infants, long for the pure spiritual milk, that by it you may grow up into salvation— if indeed you have tasted that the Lord is good. 1 Peter 2:2-4

Hint Of A Laugh...

Here's a little video of Jackman trying to laugh. He barely makes a sound, so you may have to turn your volume up. It's really too bad that we didn't get his best laugh on video... but this will do for now.

Happy New Year...So What's New???

It's been three weeks to the day since Jackman had "the big one". Obviously, we are still in the hospital. We kind of new we would be hanging around the hospital for a while after the surgery, but with no idea how long. We still have no idea.

Me and Lisa are really okay with not knowing at this point, but I know for our family and friends, it's driving them nuts... maybe even you too. Every time we run into someone, the first thing out of their mouth is "how is Jackman?", then they ask, "when's he coming home?". I know they get tired of hearing me say "I don't know", but that's the truth.

So just a little update on how the boy is doing: He is healing up nicely. He is still being weaned off the methadone slowly, and has a little way to go yet before he is completely off it. He shows hardly any signs of withdrawals most of the time, except just a little when they drop his dosage (even though they dropped it again today and he was happy as he could be).

The main problem he has now is feeding. He can't eat. He throws up everything he eats. Because of this, he hasn't even got to work with taking a bottle. We were told before the surgery that he would have problems with reflux (throwing up) to some degree, but I would have to say it's extreme since he isn't able to keep any food in his stomach at all.

To make sure that Jackman gets some real nourishment, they put in a feeding tube that goes into his stomach, and down into his intestine. The milk bypasses his stomach altogether. He has another tube right beside it that drains his stomach. We don't know when they will try to start bottle feeding, but he is getting milk now.

It sounds like this reflux problem could last a while. Whenever we do get to bring him home, he may still be on a feeding tube, and we would have to work with bottle feedings. We do know that as long as his reflux problem is as bad as it's been, he will be in the hospital.

Naturally, we want to get the boy home, but to be honest, we've had so much fun with him since he's gotten back to his old self that we haven't been that concerned with getting home. I just wish everyone else could get to see him.

It may help you to know that Jackman is far from suffering. On the contrary, he has a half of a dozen nurses wrapped around his little finger... In Three Shifts! When I came in the door three nights ago, they were playing. Last night... watching a movie. Tonight... playing. He even has a physical therapist that comes around with a mat so he can get some floor time and work on getting those crawling muscles built up. He gets lots of love and attention 'round the clock.

Coming home, whenever it happens, will be a big change for us. But it is going to be an even bigger change for Jackman. As far as he knows, he's home and where he belongs now. As far as he knows, all babies are suppose to have fifty-dozen hoses and wires attached to them. As far as he knows, good ole dirt and germs don't exist (we'll get in the dirt as soon as he gets home, maybe even eat something off the bare counter, or even the floor, like real men do). He will definitely notice the change, but I think he'll like it here with us.

He will be home one of these days, but we're determined to enjoy every day with him until then as well. It's hard to imagine not going to the hospital anymore. The people and patients in the NICU are his family too, and it kind of makes them family to us as well. We will really miss being there when the time comes to leave, but I have a feeling the boy will keep us so busy that we don't have time to sit around and be sad. Hardly... we are going to have to have a party just to show him off.

Our church, Concord Baptist Church, is having a baby dedication service on January 17. I had expected to be a part of that service with our son, but that's not likely anymore. I was talking to a friend about that today, and I told him "it's, okay. I dedicated Jackman to the LORD a long time ago". He said to me, "a lot of people have dedicated Jackman to the LORD". He's right.

Me and Lisa are still thankful for all the prayers, and thankful to God for ministering to us through all of you.

Our First Little Family Christmas...

Well, another week is in the books, and for the most part, things have gone really well for Jackman. He has been getting better and better, every day. He is off all the pain medication and they are slowly weaning him off the methadone. He finally has no tubes or tape in his face anymore, which made for some nice Christmas pictures. Also, he is still in a private room in NICU (but I think he misses the party life out on the floor).

We had a really good time on Christmas Eve, and Christmas Day. We got a lot of holding time and a little more playtime in. Granted, this wasn't the "First Little Family Christmas" we envisioned... But I'm not so sure that it wasn't even better.

On Christmas Eve, we had dinner at Zaxby's. The girl working the register was disgusted to see us because they were getting ready to close, but it's their own fault for being open, and putting addictive chemicals in the hot sauce. Lisa told me she was tempted to say "do you think we really want to eat here on Christmas Eve?", but of course she didn't. Just the thought of her saying it was funny enough for us to forget that they had probably spit on our food for keeping them open.

We spent the rest of the evening at Children's with Jackman. We just took turns holding him and trying to make him smile. We actually spent a lot of time just looking at him. It was nice just catching up on some lost time.

We came right back to the hospital Christmas morning to see Jackman. We gave him some presents. He's got a lot of books to read now. He seems to really dig the Dr. Suess books. I've had fun reading them to him. Most of the time Lisa reads and I turn the pages. I read the Mother Goose book that Lisa's folks got for him. It has some amazing pictures in it, but I have to say some of those nursery rhymes are very disturbing. For instance, you've got a girl that looses all her sheep and apparently could care less, a boy jumping over an open flame, three men in a tub together, and a single mother of at least a dozen kids that she beats and neglects to feed. Needless to say I had a lot of fun reading those to him and adding a little color commentary. (note to the grandparents - he loves that book).

We had to leave at 2:00pm for shift change, so we went to Lisa's brother's house to eat and hang out with family. But we just couldn't resist coming right back up to the hospital again. We came back and just visited with him until visiting time was over.

It turned out to be a really good Christmas. With Jackman in the hospital, things actually seemed slower and more relaxed than a "normal" Christmas. We never got caught up in all the usual hustle and bustle. We had a simple plan... visit our boy. All of our family understood completely, and we were under no obligation to do anything or to be anywhere.

Christmas Eve, after we got home, we watched The Nativity Story. We watched it last year, and it really got Lisa's attention in a different way because she was pregnant at the time. This year, it got my attention in a different way because I'm a new father. There is a part where Joseph confides in Mary when they are talking about raising the Son of God, and he remarked "I wonder if I will be able to teach him anything?". For the first time ever, this year, I realized that Joseph didn't mean things like how to throw a curve ball or ride a bike. He meant spiritual things. That gave me pause.

I wonder the same thing, but for different reasons. I never thought I would say this, but the world is a different place now than when I grew up. You don't have to look past your nose to find uncountable obstacles to raising Christian children in a Christian home. It seems hopeless. But before I can even get started good on that train of thought, I am reminded of the other impossible things I've already seen God make light work of. He has done wonders in mine and Lisa's and Jackman's lives that are beyond any explanation but this: He is in control of ALL things. That gives me hope and confidence in raising a godly son in a godly home, no matter how bad things may get.

I'm excited about the future. I'm actually looking forward to the day when my son will ask me one of those tough questions like: What happens when people die? I'm ready for that one. He's already got that inquisitive, deep-in-thought look about him. I may get one of those questions sooner than I think... actually, I can probably count on it.

...know therefore today, and lay it to your heart, that the LORD is God in heaven above and on the earth beneath; there is no other.

Deuteronomy 4:39

Highs And Lows, And It's All Good...

Today makes a week since Jackman had his major surgery to connect the two ends of his esophagus. Since he got out of surgery, the three of us could have opened up an amusement park with all the highs and lows we've had. This past week has been a long one... a tough one... and a crazy one... but a good one all the same.

The first couple of days after his surgery we really didn't see Jackman awake at all. They kept him asleep for a full two days after so the attachment would take. He really looked pleasant most of the time, and everything seemed like it would be perfect from that point on. Then they started to let him wake up.

To even begin to understand the kind of discomfort Jackman has been in is hard for me to understand, let alone describe. He had an incision as long as my hand is wide for the surgery, along with several "holes" for cameras and the scope. Besides that, his insides have been stretched for 5 weeks. Jackman has been on some serious pain medication during this whole process, and is pretty much having withdrawals while he is being weaned off of all that stuff.

Needless to say, he has been the picture of pitiful these past few days. He experienced throwing up for the first time (and several times after), and I'm sure it hurt him and scared him too. It has been absolutely heart-wrenching to see him feeling so bad. He hasn't really been crying, just whimpering. It even breaks the nurses' hearts, and you know they have to have thick skin to do that job.

I have to say that the nurses have been amazing. They have taken such good care of Jackman, and do their best to make sure that he is as comfortable as he can possibly be. I can't wait for about half a dozen of them to move in with us when Jackman comes home.

Anyway, after I think 36 days, we finally got to see a couple of smiles from the boy tonight. Me and Lisa haven't seen him smile since Sunday night, November 15. That is a long time. When we came in the door (to his new, private room in NICU), one of his nurse/friends was playing with him and getting some big grins. It was a sight for sore eyes.

It didn't last long enough to get a picture, but it was a welcome sight. He started getting tired not too long after that. Before we new it, he was dozing off.

So what's next? Well, he still has the chest tube. They decided it was better not to remove it yet, but hopefully that will be soon. I'd really like to hold him again... it's been over a month. Another thing is getting bottle feeding started. They had planned to start that today, but due to the same reasons that are keeping his chest tube in place for now, the bottle feeding has been postponed.

One thing might need some explanation. Jackman has to learn how to take a bottle. Me and Lisa understand this, but most of our friends and family don't know why it's such a big deal.

Jackman has never had any food by mouth, ever. That is not the norm for a baby. Even though his instinct is to feed that way, he has learned differently over the past almost 20 weeks of 8 feedings per day. Not only that, but he doesn't even suck a pacifier anymore after 5 weeks with a ventilator down his throat. He has to relearn that as well because he was basically weaned off the pacifier during the time he was asleep.

So, Jackman still has some things to overcome, but he's awake. He'll be feeling better soon, and we'll be able to hold him again before long. We'll get to have those long visits again soon where we play with him till we wear him out, and he gets all fussy, and fights going to sleep until he zonks out (hopefully really, really soon). We are excited, and looking forward to spending Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with him at his place. It's all good.

We've had a lot of highs and lows in the past week. We should have gone nuts by now, but we haven't. From the beginning, God has poured out so much blessing on our little family that at times we have felt like we were getting too much. Every single need has been provided for, and peace of mind to boot. Jesus promised if we seek God's kingdom and His righteousness first, that He would take care of all our needs. He wasn't joking.

Matthew 6:25-34

The Big One...

Jackman, going into the OR for The Big One...

It may be old news for some of you now, but Jackman had the long awaited surgery Monday evening. He was four months and a day old. He had been asleep for a month. Right now he is recovering, and will be for a few days.

Just to recap, Jackman's esophagus didn't reach his stomach when he was born. There was a 7 cm gap between each end. In the time his esophagus was growing and being stretched to make up that gap, he grew over three inches longer himself. It has taken four months for that much growth to happen. All along we knew it had to grow until the ends were almost touching, and we finally got there.

We got to the hospital early enough to visit with Jackman a little bit. He woke up, but had to be put back to sleep because he was squirming too much. The pre-op call came in about 2:00pm, and he went into surgery around 4:00pm. At about 6:00pm, the nurse in the OR called to give us an update on how the surgery was going. She said he was doing fine, but that they were not able to do the surgery with the scope. Instead, they had to make a larger incision to perform the surgery. They finished up around 7:00pm.

Shortly after, the surgeon came around the corner and simply said "it's attached" with a smile on his face. Me and Lisa could hardly believe it. We didn't even know how to react. Come to think of it, I believe we just sat there with our mouths open.

He went on to explain the surgery a little more, and the stretching procedure as well. He said that the doctor who came up with the theory of stretching the esophagus was a colleague, and that he had spoke with him prior to taking this course of action with Jackman. He also said he was going to watch it a few days, and then call him to share how successful the procedure and surgery were. Our surgeon basically took this controversial technique and personalized it. According to my own research, most experts in the field would have probably not even considered this treatment, but would have immediately opted for relocating his stomach into his chest, or a colon interposition. I'm so thankful God put a surgeon in place who did the research when we didn't know what to do. (By the way, if you click the Wiki link below, the references cited are written by Jackman's surgeon; Carroll Harmon.)

Well, now it's a new kind of tough... the recovery. Jackman is going to be asleep for a few more days while he heals. It's crucial that he doesn't move right now, and tear the stitches loose. He should be awake, off the vent, and starting to feel better in 7 to 10 days if all goes well. They will eventually start weaning him off the drugs he has been on for pain and to keep him sedated. We're not sure when, but feedings will start in the near future. He has to learn to take a bottle. Sounds easy enough, but for four months he has been learning that all he has to do is have it poured through a tube straight into his belly. Now he's going to have to work for it.

Anyway, we are excited. He almost surely will not be home for Christmas, and it really is okay. Me and Lisa are already excited about spending Christmas with our new little family, and the building or town we're in just isn't that big of a deal anymore. We are just looking forward to getting him back. We want to hold him again. We're ready to play again. I'm not only looking forward to seeing his little happy face, but his little mean one too.

I know all of you friends and family are ready to see him in person. Yall hang in there. God will get him home whenever He feels like it, and that will be perfect timing. But for now, for some reason, we're at Children's Hospital... and God knows what He's doing.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Esophageal_atresia

http://www.eatef.org/node/22

Solid Gold; Video From Last Sunday...

An Early Christmas Gift...

It is three weeks to the day since the last time me and Lisa have seen Jackman awake. There have actually been a couple of moments where the drugs were wearing off and he began to blink his eyes, and once he even opened them, but he has not been awake. It has been a long, long, 21 days.

Just to explain, the whole reason he is being kept asleep is because of the surgery he had three weeks ago. Jackman had a surgery to place stitches inside his chest, on each end of the two sections of his esophagus, to pull on them and "coach" them into growing longer. He has to be kept very still to keep from accidently tearing his stitches loose. Also, they tighten the stitches daily, which causes discomfort, and possibly pain for him. Because of that Jackman is always on pain medicine. This stretching process is tough on him... but he's tough too.

Well, we didn't have church tonight, so I got to go visit Jackman with Lisa. Normally, she goes by herself because she has to get home early to get to bed. I usually go up after church. For the past 3 weeks we haven't had many very long visits. He's always motionless, and if he does move, the immediately sedate him. It really does make it awkward, and hard to visit when the nurses are constantly attending him. But we love to see him and be with him, and we still look forward to getting up there every day.

This evening we parking in the deck, walked in, got on the elevator, buzzed into NICU, and scrubbed in like we have done everyday (for almost 4 months). We had no expectations for tonight other than to watch Jackman sleep. But as we rounded the corner to his bed space, he looked a little different than he had lately. He was moving.

When we got to him, he was wide awake. I'm not talking about laying there in a medicated stupor with his eyes half open... I mean he was awake. We were so happy to see his big little eyes looking back at us that we hardly realized this was unusual. He wasn't crying, or in pain, or any discomfort. He was just awake, and had been for over a half an hour already!

To fully appreciate this, you have to remember he is on a ventilator. The ventilator is a breathing tube that goes into his mouth, down the back of his throat, and into his windpipe, all the way down to where it branches off to each lung. It's what keeps him breathing when he is too sedated to do it on his own. It would be about as comfortable as someone sticking a section of garden hose down the back of your throat down to your lungs.

He was being so good. The only reason the nurse hadn't put him back under was because he was being still and calm. He was in a good mood... I would even say happy. I just don't see how. Even the nurses were surprised, and coming to get a look at "their baby".

We talked to him and stared at him. We were almost pushing each other out of the way to get a closer look. He was fully alert, and as peaceful as peaceful can be. I bet I said "hey bud, we missed you" about 200 times. To look at us with him, you would have thought he was born yesterday. It was so nice to spend time with him instead of just near him. It seemed like everything in the entire world was made right for me and Lisa both tonight.

God is getting all the credit for this one. He made us very happy tonight, and we recognize that He made this possible. Any other Sunday night, I would have been at church, and missed this. I would have died if I knew I missed this. But I didn't miss it, because God set this up just for us. He's that good.